Who has forgiveness to do with? The aggrieved or the offender? Being human with that innate sense of self preservation I wonder if forgiveness isn’t more about forgiving yourself for the hate and vengeance you felt toward that person that did you wrong. And much less about forgiving the person that did the wrong. Last night for some reason while in a reflective mode I was remembering how adamant I was about this person not darkening my door step. Ever again. He had permanent occupancy on my shit list, as we used to say back in the day. I started thinking about how much I had contributed to being treated poorly by him. I was young and stupid and presented myself as doormat material, and I was used as such. I now realize he too was young and stupid. And two young and stupids equaled the end result I got.
He waited a long time to be forgiven by me and told me so which surprised me. I had no idea he had been waiting and hoping. I guess both parties do benefit from forgiveness.
Wisdom is a hell of a thing. How boring that it comes only over a long time and after serious water under the bridge.