Carpe Diem #729 growing melons

Prelude to this haiku written by Basho
“visited the overgrown hut of an old man who had gone into seclusion.” He then wrote:

growing melons
“I wish you were here”
in the evening coolness

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

Our host’s attempt:

in the evening coolness
the rustling of full grown leaves
a hermit’s life

© Chèvrefeuille

My attempt:


sounds the earth makes
birds call from everywhere
longing for you


Melon vines wander

into my garden

all eyes on the fruit


Post in response to prompt from Carpe Diem Haiku. For further reading and other responses follow link below