Grit

Ida is an old soul and the fiercest person I know. She was blessed with an abundance of that ‘no nonsense and why the hell not’, attitude.

Conversations this time had awakened deep feelings.

What must it be like going somewhere, and not know that feeling of sticking out like a sore thumb. Or, not having to endure the stares and the under- their- breaths mutterings.

Such feelings were never really shared out loud, they didn’t have to. They knew, being in the skin they were in. Ida too, had experienced this. On one occasion she was heard to say,

‘I didn’t know I was black till I came to America’. She would not elaborate.

But this too she tackled this with her attitude of “no, I do not weep at the world – I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife*.” This attitude had served her well; and serves her still.

Pat
7/20/21

*Zora Neale Hurston

Over Time

I never could see my life without him
But there stood this broken trust

Shoving past all that I had come to know would only lead to regrets piled atop regrets –
never again feeling safe

As great as this love was
I knew me
It would not end well
So, I let it go in the most awful way
Never to see, or speak to him for ever
Time is not always the healer
she purports to be
Years later when we could again speak
He asked.
I explained.
That was not about you, I said.
That was about keeping that thread I was hanging by intact.

Pat R
6/22/21

Isn’t it pretty to think so.
–The Sun Also Rises (1926). Ernest Hemingway

Over at dVerse we are to write a poem based on a chosen quote from Hemingways work. I chose the above.

Linking to dVerse Poets Pub where Lisa is hosting Poetics -“One true sentence” . To read other entries go here

Fathers Day

“We were talking a while ago” , her eyes searched my face.

“About papa”, I said. She had asked me where he was. I said he wasn’t here just now.

“Yes”, she nodded. and smiled, her chain of thought had reconnected.

“I loved him so much” , she said. “He was always in my corner. He would fight for me”.

Those words had never crossed her lips before. At least, never in my presence.

“I’ve never heard you say that before”, I said. “You’ve only always talked about what a pain in the ass he was” I said, as those words left me, it felt like a reflex action.

“You both were a pain in the ass to each other”, I quickly interjected. as a correction. I am shocked to hear there was love there.

“He did tell me that he loved you” , she seemed as surprised to hear it, just as I was way back when he said it.

In all the years I’ve been on this earth, all I’ve ever seen between these two was fighting. At times, it felt like they were fighting to the death. In my young mind I wondered what would happen to me and my sisters and brother if one of them killed the other.

Now here she sits, in a confused state laced with moments of clarity, professing her love for my father who no longer among the living. I didn’t have the heart to tell her this earlier, today of all days. It was Fathers Day. And she was treading the waters of unfinished business.

Pat
6/20/21

You

I keep you

deep in my heart

you waltzed in

curled up

and never left

ever so often

I find myself hiding you

in my poetry

yes – I do keep you

deep in my heart

Pat

4/08/21

For dVerse Poets Pub where Grace is hosting and the prompt is body parts as metaphors To read or join in go here

Salty Soul

This human being is a salty soul

Anything adversarial was always

just a blip to be dealt with

There was no time for foolishness

because she had four children to

feed, educate and school in

manners

Her moves were well thought out

and always deeply rooted in hope

Yes, this ‘every woman’,

this human being is a salty soul.

(For my Mom)

Pat

3/17/21

“I Love You”s

img_20200301_151305She is not one to say it often. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe she doesn’t know how, never learned how. Maybe she’s just not good at it.

My mom has been on her own, for the most part since she was thirteen. Her mom died one morning as she was readying her daughters for school.
I’m thinking since then, she has had issues with god / creator for letting such a catastrope befall her and her younger sister.

Some things trickle down, whether it was meant to or not.

I am no good at love. Most times leave me feeling like a lunatic, if not acting like one.

But, I keep an open heart. Even so, “I don’t know why I was surprised every time love started or ended.” I guess in a cock-eyed sorta of way, I believe in love.

Pat R

3/17/20

Over at dVerse Poets Pub the prompt is to write prose (keeping it tight at no more than 144 words) and to include the line below:-
“I don’t know why I was surprised every time love started or ended.”

https://dversepoets.com/2020/03/16/prosery-surprised-or-not/

Conversations

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She came to visit on a peaceful saturday evening. Meandering conversations about everyday things, morphed into events of childhood and upbringing.

The traumas and dramas, the love and conflicts. Families and their decisions made out of love, that is truly misunderstood by the young minds they were meant to  shield.
 
Then came reflections on this life changing sorrow. There are moments caught between heart-beats, that goes the way of time. There is no changing it. There is no revisiting it And its one true quality is that it is everlasting.

This was one of those moments. After the revelation it just hung in the air.

a mother’s grief –
in remembrance
through decades, she kept
the last T-shirt he wore,
bullet hole intact

Pat R

2/16/20

For dVerse Poets Pub where Kim is hosting and the phrase to be incorporated in the response is
” There are moments caught between heart-beats”